How do I know if I need therapy?

Therapy isn’t for crazy people. Choosing to go to therapy is actually a pretty sane decision. Most people who go to counseling do so because something in their life got so uncomfortable or painful that they couldn’t find another way to manage it. They may have tried talking to friends or family, pretending it doesn’t bother them, or trying something new but ending up in the same pattern over and over again. Choosing not to go to therapy can lead to physical health problems, problems with sleep, difficulties at work, problems parenting, strained friendships, or even suicide.

You may benefit from therapy if the problem or issue is causing strain on your relationship. You may be taking your stress out on your partner or child which leaves you silently with your regret or beating yourself up with the “if only’s.” You may benefit from therapy if the problem or issue is making it difficult to focus at work or school. You may find yourself thinking more and more about it with less and less answers. You may benefit from working with a therapist if the problem is pushing you further and further away from your loved ones or goals. Maybe you can no longer live with the problem without numbing yourself with drugs, alcohol, television, or social media. You may benefit from therapy if those close to you are telling you that you are no longer acting like yourself. Maybe you are short-tempered, or coming into work late every day, or becoming much more distracted or forgetful.

You may be saying, “I’ve tried therapy before, and it didn’t work.” That may be true. Sometimes it takes a while to begin to see progress in therapy. It’s easy to become frustrated and want to give up. Sometimes our loved ones see a difference way before we notice a change. Or maybe you didn’t “click” with your therapist. And, that’s okay. Tell your therapist that you are feeling that way, and he or she will help you find one that may be a better fit. It’s very important that you feel comfortable because you are worth it. You are sharing your pain with someone else and that can be scary. Do it with someone you trust.

Therapy is not a quick fix. It takes vulnerability, honesty, and persistence. But, therapy can be so rewarding. You get to be open and raw in a non-judgmental atmosphere while you learn more about why you repeat the same patterns, learn new ways to handle old (or new) problems, and strengthen your relationships. You find out that if you share with someone else the bad thing you have been hiding inside of you that the world did not fall down around you, or your therapist didn’t run out of the room in shock. Rather, you’ll leave your session feeling heard, understood, and valued. You will learn how to become your own problem-solver, and you will begin to fill whole again.