Dating your spouse after kids

Happy smiling woman with curly hair lounging on couch.

What does dating your spouse look like after you have had kids?

How many of you date your spouse?

Why is this even important?

What does dating your spouse even look like?

Now that I have you thinking about this, and with Valentine’s Day lurking around the corner, you may be saying these things to yourself:

Do I even want to go on a date with my husband or wife?

What will we talk about?

Who will watch the kids?

We can’t afford to get a sitter and go on a date.

Not that these are not important questions or thoughts…but so is having protected time with your spouse. How will your prioritize this? Who can you lean on to make this happen?

My husband, Ryan, and I have made it a priority to have date nights and mini vacations (sans kids). Why? Because our marriage is worth it. We both look forward to that time in order to stay connected. It’s easy to drift. It’s easy to coast. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the day to day grind. Soccer practice. Piano lessons. Dentist appointments. School projects. Chicken nugget dinners. So much of your disappointment, frustration, or irritation with your spouse or with your marriage is probably due to the fact that you have not made dating your spouse a priority. People who have great marriages don’t accidentally have great marriages. They have great marriages ON PURPOSE.

So how do you start dating your spouse? It may be a little clunky in the beginning, and that’s okay. Ryan and I have done everything from stealing away from work to see each other for lunch, to going to Minnesota to go ice fishing over Valentine’s Day (that picture is of us on Valentine’s Day in 2019 about 7 miles out on a frozen lake), to going to the driving range, to going to an outdoor concert. How about grabbing a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee shop? Maybe revisiting the places you used to go before you got married? What kinds of things did you all do before you were parents? How can you rekindle that friendship?

Remember, dating your husband or wife lets them know that you still make them a priority. It also models a healthy relationship for your kids. And, it’s a fun (and important) way to create intimacy in your marriage. Start planning your next date with your best friend today!